Well, hello, y'all. Caro Whitfield, coming to you from the Forty Acres, where the Tower glows burnt orange after a win and the coffee comes with a side of perspective. I bring rodeo-queen polish and a consultant's brain to every Saturday, and darling, this week needs both.
This week I owe you two things: an honest board meeting about last Saturday, and a very warm Texas welcome for our guests from Oxford, Mississippi. Warm like an 85-degree kickoff. Warm like a branding iron. Pull up a chair.
Part 1: The Board Meeting Nobody Wanted
Let's do the hard part first, because this is an honest house. Florida beat us 27-24 at DKR last Saturday, in front of 103,989 people. That's our second straight three-point loss, after the 27-24 loss to Oklahoma at the Cotton Bowl. We are 4-2. I have filed the paperwork. I have called an emergency meeting with myself. Hypothetically, heads rolled.
And it started so beautifully. Raleek Brown ran 32 yards for a touchdown early in the first quarter. Gianni Spetic hit a 38-yard field goal. Then Ryan Niblett fielded a punt and took it 63 yards to the house, the third punt-return touchdown of his career, and we led 17-3 in the second quarter. I was already drafting the press release.
Then the Gators did the one thing a consultant hates most: they slowed the meeting down. Tramell Jones Jr., in his first career start, threw two touchdowns to Lacota Dippre, one with 18 seconds left before the half and one to finish a 15-play drive that ate eight minutes of the third quarter. Florida held the ball for 38:11. We went 2-for-10 on third down. That's not a slump, darling. That's a bad quarterly report.
Patrick Durkin's 28-yard field goal gave Florida its first lead, and Jadan Baugh's 11-yard run made it 27-17. But I want you to remember what came next, because it's the moment I'm holding onto. On fourth down, Arch Manning escaped a sack and found Emmett Mosley V for 62 yards. That set up his 9-yard touchdown pass to Cam Coleman with 4:21 left. Manning finished 14 of 20 for 173 yards, a touchdown and no interceptions. Florida sacked him five times, and the last one forced a fumble on our final possession. That's football. It stings.
The defense still showed up in full formal wear. Justin Cryer made 11 tackles. Colin Simmons had eight tackles, four tackles for loss and a sack, and he left in the fourth quarter with what AP called an apparent ankle injury. The official SEC availability report isn't out yet, so we wait for real news and we pray for him. That's all there is to say.
Now, perspective. This same team beat Ohio State 24-23 and won 20-17 at Tennessee. In those two wins the defense allowed 40 points combined. The bones are good. The quarter was bad. We do not panic in October.
Part 2: Welcome to Austin, Rebels. Mind the Bats.
Saturday night, 7:30 Eastern, on ABC, No. 7 Ole Miss comes to DKR. It's our first meeting as SEC members, Texas leads the series 6-2, and it's the Rebels' first trip to Austin since 2013.
I'll be gracious first, because Mama raised me right. Ole Miss beat No. 13 Missouri 31-3 last Saturday, and it was impressive. Trinidad Chambliss threw three touchdowns and ran for another. Kewan Lacy ran for 122 yards and the Rebels put up 498 yards. They held Missouri to 39 rushing yards on 26 carries. Well done, darlings. Truly.
Now let me tell you about the rest of the roster.
Who to Watch
Trinidad Chambliss, quarterback: 1,676 passing yards, 14 touchdowns, four interceptions. He's the real thing, and Mama didn't raise a liar. Our pass rush needs to find him early and often.
Deuce Alexander, receiver: 35 catches, 523 yards, five touchdowns. Our secondary should know where he is on every snap.
The Ole Miss defense: 390 yards allowed a game, 108th in FBS. Opponents gain 236.5 passing yards a game against it, which ranks 104th. And on third down, opponents convert 44% of the time, 118th in the country. Darling, I've seen tighter security at a lemonade stand.
Here's the part I find delicious. Pete Golding was Ole Miss's defensive coordinator before he got promoted to head coach. The defense now ranks 108th in yards allowed. I'm not saying anything. I'm just reading the stat sheet out loud.
And the Rebels hold the ball for 26:59 a game, 131st in FBS. They score fast, sure, and they've scored on 100% of their red zone trips, first in the nation. Credit where due. But then their defense is right back on the field, wondering who booked such a short break.
Texas's Defense vs. the Rebel Offense
This is the main event. Ole Miss throws for 290.7 yards a game, 13th in FBS, and scores 37.5 points a game. Our defense allows 272.5 yards a game overall (12th in FBS), 166.2 passing yards (12th) and 17.8 points (29th). Rasheem Biles leads us with 48 tackles and two interceptions. Somebody's streak gives on Saturday night, y'all. I know which side I'm on.
On the other side, Manning has 11 touchdowns this year, Ryan Wingo has 26 catches for 345 yards, and Smothers has 289 rushing yards. Our offense ranks 93rd in yards, and I won't pretend otherwise. But we're about to meet a defense that ranks 104th against the pass. You don't need a consultant for that math, though I'm happy to draw you a chart.
The Road Problem
AP pointed out that Ole Miss is 25-1 at home since 2023. Gorgeous number. Frame it. Hang it in the Grove. Now look at the 2026 road trips: the Rebels won at Vanderbilt, then went to Gainesville and lost 52-28 to Florida.
Yes, the same Florida that beat us. Here's the difference, darling: Florida, with a quarterback in his first career start, needed a whole Saturday to squeeze past us by three. Against Ole Miss, the Gators hung 52 on the board. We lost a negotiation. Ole Miss lost the whole building.
A Brief History Seminar
Ole Miss has been in the SEC since 1932. Its last SEC title came in 1963, under Johnny Vaught. In the 32 years the league had divisions, the Rebels never reached the SEC Championship Game. Texas joined the league in 2024 and played in that game in year one. We lost it 22-19 in overtime to Georgia, and I'm still upset, but at least we found the stadium. Thirty-two years, darling. Somebody hand Oxford a map.
And bless their hearts, the Rebels' last coach, Lane Kiffin, left for LSU on Nov. 30, 2025, two days after the Egg Bowl, with a playoff run still ahead. To be fair, Golding stepped in and took that team to the playoff semifinal, where it lost 31-27 to Miami in the Fiesta Bowl, and this year Ole Miss beat Kiffin's LSU 32-24. I respect the comeback story. I just prefer ours, especially when it ends in a Texas win.
Tower Talk: A Tale of Two Towns
Every football weekend is really a town weekend, and darling, I've been waiting all week for this one.
Austin. It's the capital of Texas. Its official slogan is "The Live Music Capital of the World." It's home to SXSW and Austin City Limits. At sunset, about 1.5 million Mexican free-tailed bats pour out from under the Ann W. Richards Congress Avenue Bridge over Lady Bird Lake. Texas Parks and Wildlife calls it the largest urban bat colony in the world, and the bats don't fly south until early November. That means our visitors get the full show. We'll have 1.5 million bats in the sky and a stadium with more than 100,000 seats. Then, after a win, the UT Tower glows burnt orange, and Bevo, our actual living, breathing longhorn steer, looks over the evening with deep approval.
Oxford. Now, I adore a charming town, and Oxford is charming. The Square is lovely. Square Books is a real treasure. William Faulkner lived there, and I respect a man who wrote sentences longer than some Ole Miss defensive stands. But consider the branding. The founders named the town after Oxford, England, to promote it as a center of learning. Darling, borrowing a more famous town's name is like showing up to the gala in somebody else's gown.
The 2020 census counted 25,416 people in Oxford. Last Saturday's crowd at DKR was 103,989. Our losing crowd was about four Oxfords. Even Oxford's Wikipedia entry introduces the town by how far it is from Memphis: 75 miles.
Then there's the Grove: about 10 shaded acres of tents, fine china and, I'm told, chandeliers. Hanging chandeliers. Outdoors. I'm a rodeo queen, darling, and even I think that's a lot of sparkle for a tailgate. Out here we light a whole Tower.
And the mascot. In 2017 the university made the Landshark its official mascot, and Tony the Landshark debuted in 2018. A shark. In the North Central Hills of Mississippi. Oxford's entire water area is about 0.09 square miles. Ole Miss has since de-emphasized Tony on game days. I understand. He's probably looking for an ocean. We'll leave a kiddie pool out on Lady Bird Lake for him. The bats will keep him company.
One sincere note, because I'm a lady. Ole Miss's campus speed limit is 18 miles per hour in honor of Archie Manning, who wore No. 18 there. Oxford slows the traffic down to honor that family. In Austin, we honor it by giving Archie's grandson the football. Everybody loves the Mannings, darling. We just have the current model.
The Final Word
Here's how I see it. Ole Miss has a terrific quarterback, a perfect red zone record and a defense ranked 108th in yards. Texas has a top-12 defense, a home crowd the size of four Oxfords, a chip on its shoulder from two three-point losses, and a quarterback who answered on fourth down last Saturday when it got ugly. The Rebels hold the ball for less time than almost anybody in America. On Saturday night, our defense would love to hand it back to them early and often.
Come early. Watch the bats. Stay for the Tower. Hook 'em, y'all.
My call: Texas Longhorns 29, Ole Miss Rebels 25.