Plink-a-plink-a-plink-a-PLANG.
That's my banjo, friends, and it's a little out of tune on purpose, because I'm still shaking from Saturday. Howdy from the porch of a cabin up toward the Smokies, where the leaves on the ridge are turning the exact shade of orange God intended for them. I'm Earl Haskew. Folks call me Rocky Top. I used to snap the football for a living, and now I play banjo before every stat, because a good number deserves a good intro.
And brother, have I got some good numbers this week.
Part 1: Third Saturday in October, Indeed
Plink-a-plink. Tennessee 26, Alabama 10.
At Neyland Stadium, in front of 101,915 people, which is the stadium's official capacity, so every last seat had a Vol in it, give or take a few folks in crimson who had a quiet ride home.
The first half was a kicker's clinic. Cooper Ranvier drilled field goals from 29, 33, 41 and 34 yards. Four field goals before halftime, friends. As a former long snapper, I wept. Those were beautiful snaps. I'd know. We led 12-10 at the break. Not pretty, but a long snapper never asks for pretty. He asks for points.
Then DeSean Bishop took over the afternoon. He had 64 rushing yards at halftime and 95 more after it, finishing with 159 yards and two touchdowns on 32 carries. His 5-yard touchdown in the third quarter made it 19-10. And then, friends, came the best drive of the season: nine minutes and 32 seconds in the fourth quarter, ending with Bishop scoring from five yards out again. Nine and a half minutes. Alabama's offense spent that whole drive on the bench, probably reading the program.
George MacIntyre completed 21 of 31 passes for 197 yards, and Mike Matthews caught seven passes for 85. We held the ball for 35:44.
Plang. Now the defense. Alabama finished with 201 yards and 54 rushing yards, and it went 2 for 13 on third down. We forced four turnovers. Kayin Lee and Dejuan Lane each intercepted a pass, Jeremiah Telander had two sacks, and Amare Campbell made eight tackles. The AP said Alabama has now lost consecutive regular-season games for the first time since 2007, and Tennessee has won three of its last five against Alabama, all at home, after 15 straight losses in the series.
Fifteen straight, friends. I remember every one of 'em. Now look at us.
Smoky Mountain Stories: Why We Run Through the T
Every home game, our band forms a giant T, with its base at the entrance to the locker room in the north end zone. Smokey, our bluetick coonhound, runs in, and the whole team storms through the T to the roar of 100,000-plus Vols fans. Coach Doug Dickey started that tradition in the 1960s, along with the Power T logo and the checkerboard end zones, which first appeared in 1964. When the checkerboards are painted and the T is formed, God's in His heaven and all's right in Knoxville.
The Honest Verse
I won't pretend we're perfect, because the banjo knows when you're lying. Texas beat us 20-17 at Neyland back in September. And the AP called our quarterback spot "very much a work in progress." Faizon Brandon leads us in passing with 697 yards and seven touchdowns, MacIntyre started Saturday, and our passing game ranks 110th in FBS. But we run for 217.1 yards a game, 19th in the country, and we've won three straight. That'll do.
Part 2: Headed to Columbia
Plink-a-plink. Saturday at 3:30 Eastern on ESPN, No. 11 Tennessee visits South Carolina at Williams-Brice Stadium. We're 6-1. They're 3-3.
Now, I'll be neighborly first. The Gamecocks are coming off an open week, and two Saturdays ago they won 38-19 at Florida. LaNorris Sellers threw four touchdowns and ran for another. Their offense averages 474.7 yards a game, 13th in FBS, and they run for 232.3 a game, 10th. That's a real offense, and we'll respect it.
But let's tune up the rest of the song.
Before that Florida win, South Carolina had lost eight straight SEC games, going back to September 2025. The AP said the Gamecocks had blown four significant leads in their previous five SEC games. They lost 49-18 at Alabama, the same Alabama we just held to 10 points. They lost to Mississippi State. They lost to Kentucky. Friends, that's a lot of verses about heartbreak, and not one of 'em on the banjo.
Who to Watch
Plang. DeSean Bishop, our running back: 837 yards and 10 touchdowns on 139 carries, coming off 159 against Alabama. He's the main melody.
Mike Matthews, receiver: 29 catches for 481 yards and three touchdowns, our leader.
Our defense: It allows 14.7 points a game, ninth in FBS, and 159.3 passing yards a game, eighth. Opponents convert just 30.8% of their third downs, 15th. Sellers is good. Our secondary is better.
The red zone: Here's the banjo lick of the week. The AP preview says South Carolina's defense allows opponents to score on 93.8% of red-zone trips, 122nd in FBS. Our red-zone offense scores 95.7% of the time, sixth. Friends, if Ranvier has to kick, he kicks. If Bishop gets the ball at the 5, he's done it twice already.
LaNorris Sellers, South Carolina quarterback: 1,338 yards, 12 touchdowns, four interceptions. He's dangerous, and our pass rush needs to keep him in the pocket.
A Brief History Seminar
Plink. Tennessee leads the series 29-11-2, according to CollegeFootballData.com. Yes, I know about 2022 in Columbia. I don't want to talk about 2022. We won 41-20 the next year in Knoxville, and I'd like to talk about that one instead.
Tennessee claims six national championships, including 1951 and 1998 from the AP. We've won 16 conference titles. South Carolina has been in the SEC since 1992 and has won one SEC East title, in 2010. Friends, the Gamecocks have the most beautiful entrance music in America and no SEC championship to play it for.
Porch Talk: A Tale of Two Towns
Knoxville. The 2020 census counted 190,740 of us, and Great Smoky Mountains National Park sits about 20 miles south. We hosted the 1982 World's Fair, which drew 11 million visitors, and the Sunsphere, a 266-foot tower topped with a golden glass ball, still shines over downtown. Neyland Stadium sits right by the Tennessee River. And our song, "Rocky Top," written in Gatlinburg in 1967 by Felice and Boudleaux Bryant, became one of Tennessee's official state songs in 1982. The House voted 97-0. Unanimous, friends. Even politicians agree on "Rocky Top."
Columbia. Now, Columbia's a fine capital city. It's got three rivers and a pretty State House. But let's talk about their famous entrance. They play the theme from "2001: A Space Odyssey," and Wikipedia says they installed a big array of subwoofers under the scoreboard to make it hit harder. Friends, in Knoxville, we don't need subwoofers. We've got 101,915 people and a banjo.
Then there's the Cockaboose Railroad, 22 cabooses lined up on an unused railroad track behind the stadium for tailgating. Wikipedia calls them "immovable." So South Carolina built a train that doesn't go anywhere. I won't make the obvious joke about their SEC championship hopes. My mama raised me better. But the banjo made it for me. Plang.
And their mascot, Cocky, is a rooster. A gamecock. I grew up around chickens, friends, and I can tell you exactly what a rooster does best: it makes a lot of noise first thing and then struts around the yard. I'll let you figure out the rest.
Their nickname, Soda City, comes from shortening "Columbia" to "Cola." Friends, that's not a nickname. That's an abbreviation that got carbonated.
The Last Lick
Here's how the tune goes. We've got a running back with 837 yards, a defense that just held Alabama to 10 points, a red-zone offense that ranks sixth against a red-zone defense that ranks 122nd, and a kicker who doesn't miss. They've got great music, a rested quarterback and a home crowd that'll be loud. But we just played in front of 101,915. Loud is our love language.
Plink-a-plink-a-plink-a-PLANG. Go Vols. Rocky Top, you'll always be home sweet home to me.
My call: Tennessee Volunteers 28, South Carolina Gamecocks 26.