I keep a spreadsheet. Of course I do. I'm an engineering student in a maize sweater, and every column on that spreadsheet is labeled with a lyric from "The Victors," because Louis Elbel wrote the greatest fight song in America on a train in 1898, and the least I can do is use it for data management.
Column A is "Hail!" Column B is "the conqu'ring heroes." Column C is "the leaders and best." And on Saturday afternoon, for the first time in a few weeks, I got to fill in Column D: "the champions."
Okay, it was a 21-18 win over a team that's now 0-4 in the Big Ten. But I'm filling it in. Hail to the spreadsheet.
Part 1: The Carr That Came Off the Bench
Michigan 21, Penn State 18, Saturday, Oct. 17, in front of 110,731 at Michigan Stadium.
I'll be honest, because the data demands it. The first half was a lab experiment gone wrong. Penn State led 3-0 at halftime. Bryce Underwood threw two interceptions in the second quarter, his fifth in three games and sixth of the season, one more than his touchdown passes. We needed this game to avoid starting 0-3 in Big Ten play for the first time since 1967, which is the year before Bo Schembechler arrived. Think about that. My spreadsheet doesn't have a column for that, and I don't want one.
So first-year coach Kyle Whittingham benched Underwood at halftime and sent in Tommy Carr. The crowd roared. If you don't know the name, here's the context: Tommy is the grandson of Lloyd Carr, who coached Michigan to the 1997 national championship, and of Tom Curtis, the All-American defensive back who set the school record with 25 career interceptions. The AP noted that Carr jogged onto the same field where his grandfathers made history. I've watched that clip nine times. I'll watch it nine more.
Then the second half happened. Bryson Kuzdzal broke a 43-yard touchdown run. Carr ripped off a 22-yard draw to set up Jordan Marshall's 1-yard touchdown. 14-3.
Penn State scored and added a two-point conversion to make it 14-11 early in the fourth. But then Rocco Becht lost a fumble at the Penn State 16, and Carr ran it in from 12 yards on a third down with 2:58 left. 21-11. Penn State scored with 1:11 to go, and we recovered the onside kick. Ballgame.
Column E: "Hail to the Victors Valiant"
Carr completed five of seven passes for 47 yards and ran four times for 36 yards and the clinching touchdown. Savion Hiter ran 11 times for 78 yards. We ran for 211 yards as a team. On defense, Troy Bowles had 10 tackles, Chris Bracy had a sack and an interception, and Rod Moore Jr. had the other interception. Penn State ran 30 times for 65 yards.
The Season So Far
We're 4-2 and 1-2 in the Big Ten. We beat Western Michigan 13-12 and Oklahoma 17-10, then lost 20-19 to Iowa and 20-14 at Minnesota. Our defense allows 256.5 yards a game, third in FBS, and 16.2 points. Our offense, according to the AP preview, ranks 125th in yards per game. That's not a typo. My spreadsheet highlighted it red on its own.
Part 2: The Defending Champs Come to Ann Arbor
Saturday, Oct. 24, at noon Eastern, No. 6 Indiana comes to Michigan Stadium. FOX has it.
I'll give credit where the data demands it. Indiana is the defending national champion, after a 16-0 season. It's 6-1, and its only loss was 19-15 to Ohio State on Saturday, when Nick Marsh stepped out of bounds on a potential go-ahead touchdown with 1:02 left. Josh Hoover has 18 touchdown passes and zero interceptions. The Hoosiers allow 12.9 points a game, fourth in FBS. That's a very good football team.
But I'm an engineer, and engineers look at the stress points.
Indiana lost two fumbles Saturday after going 1,487 snaps without losing one, according to the AP. Its kicker, Nico Radicic, missed both of his field goals. And the Hoosiers just played the most emotional game in their stadium's history, the first top-five game ever played in Bloomington, and lost it on a toe. Seven days later, they come to the biggest stadium in America, at noon. That's a lot of load on one structure.
And then there's history. Michigan leads the series 62-11, according to CollegeFootballData.com. Indiana won the last meeting, 20-15 in 2024, and the AP says the Hoosiers haven't won two straight against us since 1958 and 1959. Column F: "the champions of the West." We'd like that column back.
Who to Watch
Tommy Carr: Whittingham hasn't named a starter yet. If it's Carr, he has a 90.2 QBR from Saturday and a family tree that reads like the Michigan record book.
Bryce Underwood: 924 yards, five touchdowns, six interceptions. He's a talented young man, and Whittingham said afterward that he couldn't have handled the benching any better. Whatever happens, I'm rooting for him.
Troy Bowles: 50 tackles, our leader. John Henry Daley: four sacks.
JJ Buchanan, receiver: 27 catches, 482 yards, four touchdowns.
Josh Hoover, Indiana quarterback: 1,660 yards, 18 touchdowns, no interceptions. Our pass defense allows 166.8 yards a game, 14th in FBS. Something has to give.
Turbo Richard, Indiana running back: 643 yards and six touchdowns.
The Town Data: A Tale of Two Towns
Ann Arbor. Population 123,851 at the 2020 census. We're "Tree Town," for our name and our forests, and also "A-squared," which is the only city nickname that is also a math problem. The University of Michigan has been here since 1837, it's the oldest university in the state, and Michigan Stadium holds 107,601, the largest stadium in the United States and the Western Hemisphere. Michigan has the most wins in college football history, 1,025 by Wikipedia's count, along with 12 claimed national championships and the winged helmet, which Fritz Crisler brought from Princeton in 1938. When they announce the attendance, the PA announcer thanks the crowd for being part of the largest crowd watching a football game anywhere in America. Every week. Because it's every week.
Bloomington. Bloomington is a lovely college town, and I'll start with the good data. It's the setting of "Breaking Away," the Academy Award-winning 1979 movie about the Little 500 bicycle race. Charming. A town that loves its bicycles.
Now, the complete data. From September 2012 until November 2025, according to Wikipedia, Indiana held the record for the most all-time losses in major college football history. That's right. For 13 years, Indiana and Michigan were in the record book on the exact same page, at opposite ends of it. We had the most wins, and they had the most losses. We were Column A, and they were the footnote.
And Indiana's Memorial Stadium seats 53,524. The Big House seats 107,601. By my math, that's roughly two Indiana stadiums. Saturday, all 107,601 of our fans get to make the noise of two Bloomingtons, and I'm told the Hoosiers are used to bicycles, not jet engines.
The Final Calculation
Here's my honest read. Indiana's the better team on paper, and I'm a man who respects paper. But football isn't played on paper. It's played at noon, in the Big House, in front of 107,601, against a defense that ranks third in the country in yards allowed. If we can get Carr or Underwood to protect the football and keep Hoover from finding Charlie Becker downfield, Column G writes itself.
Hail to the spreadsheet. Go Blue.
My call: Indiana Hoosiers 27, Michigan Wolverines 17.