Bonjour, Tiger fans! Ça va? It's Cece Thibodeaux, coming to you from a folding chair outside Tiger Stadium, where the smoke from forty tailgate pots is still hanging in the air like a lovely purple-and-gold fog. My crawfish étouffée is resting, my notebook is open, and my spice rack is fully stocked, because we have a defense to rate and a road trip to plan.
Last Saturday, the Tigers did something I haven't seen since I was a little girl licking the spoon in Mamère's kitchen. They shut out an SEC team. And this Saturday, we go to Auburn, where the other Tigers are feeling very proud of themselves. Cher, let's cook.
Part 1: The Shutout Gumbo
LSU 31, Mississippi State 0. In front of 102,321 people at Tiger Stadium, which is the stadium's full capacity, because of course it was.
The AP says it was LSU's first shutout of an SEC opponent since a 45-0 win at Mississippi State in 2007. You know what happened in 2007, cher? LSU won the national championship. I'm not saying. I'm just setting the table.
Let me walk you through the recipe.
The roux: Sam Leavitt. He completed 31 of 38 passes for 289 yards and four touchdowns, and he threw no interceptions. The AP pointed out it was his first turnover-free game of the season. He fed nine different receivers. That's not a passing game, cher, that's a church potluck where everybody brought something.
The trinity: the touchdowns. Eugene Wilson III caught a 10-yard touchdown early in the first quarter. Jackson Harris caught a 27-yarder later in the first and a 17-yarder in the second, and it was 21-0 at the half. Scott Starzyk kicked a 26-yard field goal in the third, and Malik Elzy caught a 6-yard touchdown with 31 seconds left in the quarter. Harris finished with six catches for 85 yards before leaving in the third quarter with what the AP called an apparent lower left leg injury. We're praying for him and waiting on real news.
The seasoning: Dilin Jones. He ran 18 times for 84 yards, including a 21-yard run on which his helmet came right off. He added eight catches for 58 yards.
The pot lid: the defense. Mississippi State got inside our 40 five times. All five drives ended on failed fourth downs, one of them at our 6. The Bulldogs went 0 for 5 on fourth down. TJ Dottery made 12 tackles, Davhon Keys had 10 with 1.5 for loss, Jordan Ross had a sack and 2.5 tackles for loss, and Ty Benefield picked off a pass. To be fair and kind, Mississippi State was playing without its starting quarterback and top running back, and their young quarterback was making his first start. We wish them health. We still shut them out.
The Week Before
I won't pretend the week before didn't happen. We lost 35-34 in overtime at Kentucky, and we dropped 12 spots in the AP poll for it. Earlier this year, we lost 32-24 at Ole Miss. Both on the road. Both close. Both stung like a hot pepper you thought was a green bean. But this team answered, and that's what a good gumbo does: it tastes even richer the second day.
Part 2: Off to the Plains
Saturday at noon Eastern on ABC, No. 18 LSU visits Auburn at Jordan-Hare Stadium. We're 5-2 and 2-2 in the SEC. Auburn is 4-2 and 2-2.
Now, I'll be gracious, because Mamère is watching from heaven with a wooden spoon. Auburn beat No. 1 Georgia 27-24 in Athens last Saturday on a field goal as time expired. Byrum Brown ran for 115 yards and threw a touchdown, and Auburn didn't turn it over. That was a beautiful win, cher, and I sent them a little praline in my heart.
But then I opened the stat sheet.
The Spice Scale
Every week I rate the other team's defense on my scale, from "bland" all the way to "Saturday night in Death Valley." Here's Auburn's.
The Auburn defense allows 371 yards a game, 87th in FBS. It gives up 228 passing yards a game, 96th. It allows 143 rushing yards a game, 74th. And against Georgia, it allowed 440 yards and 327 through the air.
On the spice scale, cher, that is a mild boudin. It has some flavor. It has a little kick. But you could feed it to a toddler and nobody would cry.
Our defense, on the other hand? It allows 256.6 yards a game, fourth in FBS. It allows 88.3 rushing yards a game, 11th, and opponents convert just 30.6% of their third downs, 14th. In the red zone, opponents score on 70.6% of their trips, 13th. That's a whole roux of a defense, cher. That's Saturday night in Death Valley, even at noon.
Who to Watch
Sam Leavitt, our quarterback: 1,784 yards, 14 touchdowns, a 70.1 completion percentage. If he keeps the ball as clean as he did last week, Auburn's 96th-ranked pass defense is in for a long lunch.
Dilin Jones, running back: 567 yards on 128 carries and five touchdowns.
Jackson Harris, receiver: 27 catches for 456 yards and five touchdowns. We'll wait on official word about his leg.
Byrum Brown, Auburn quarterback: 1,202 passing yards and a team-high 459 rushing yards. He's big and he runs hard. Our run defense, 11th in the country, has been looking forward to meeting him.
The clock. The AP preview says Auburn ranks 134th in FBS in time of possession, at 26:54 a game. We're 19th at 32:55. Auburn also averages 68 penalty yards a game, 111th. If we hold the ball like a pot of red beans on a Monday, slow and steady, that Auburn defense is going to be very tired by the fourth quarter.
A Brief History Seminar
LSU leads the series 33-23-1, according to CollegeFootballData.com. In the most recent meeting, in 2023, LSU won 48-18 in Baton Rouge. The last time we went to Jordan-Hare, in 2022, we won 21-17.
And LSU claims four national championships: 1958, 2003, 2007 and 2019. Our coach, Lane Kiffin, has been here since November 2025, and he already has us shutting out SEC teams. Somebody hand him a bowl of gumbo.
Bayou Kitchen: A Tale of Two Towns
Baton Rouge. Our capital city sits on a bluff above the Mississippi River, and it's the home of the Louisiana State Capitol, which at 450 feet and 34 stories is the tallest state capitol in the United States. We don't build small, cher. The 2020 census counted 227,470 people, and on a Saturday night it feels like all of them are at the stadium. Tiger Stadium seats 102,321, it's the second-largest stadium in the SEC, and the Sporting News once named "Saturday Night in Death Valley" and our tailgating the top tradition in college football. Our mascot, Mike the Tiger, is a real, live tiger who lives in a habitat right on campus. A real tiger, cher. We don't do metaphors.
Auburn. Now, Auburn is a sweet little town. Very lovely. But listen to this. Auburn's nickname, "the Loveliest Village on the Plains," comes from Oliver Goldsmith's poem. The name of that poem? "The Deserted Village." Cher, they named their town after a poem about a deserted village, and then they're surprised we're coming to visit.
The 2020 census counted 76,143 people in Auburn. That's a nice crowd for a crawfish boil. And Jordan-Hare seats 88,043, so the stadium has more seats than the town has people. I respect that. That's Louisiana thinking.
And then there's the confusion. Their team is the Tigers. Their official mascot is Aubie the Tiger. But their battle cry is "War Eagle," and they fly an eagle before games. Wikipedia literally says the War Eagle cry has "often led to outside confusion as to Auburn's official mascot." Cher, if Wikipedia is confused, imagine how the eagle feels. Over here, our tiger is a tiger. Our tiger knows he's a tiger.
Their big celebration is wrapping the oak trees at Toomer's Corner in toilet paper after wins. I love a tradition. But in Baton Rouge, when we win, we feed people. Auburn decorates a tree like it's a bathroom. Different cultures, cher.
And I'll remind Auburn, sweetly, about the 1988 Earthquake Game, when the roar at Tiger Stadium registered on a seismograph on campus. The opponent that day? Auburn. We have literally moved the earth on these folks. We'll try to keep it to a rumble on the Plains.
The Last Word
Here's my recipe. Start with a defense ranked fourth in the country. Add a quarterback who just threw four touchdowns without a single turnover. Stir in a team that holds the ball for almost 33 minutes a game against one that holds it for 27. Simmer at noon on the Plains. Season generously with Death Valley attitude.
Auburn had a wonderful Saturday, cher. But one great Saturday is a beignet. We're bringing the whole gumbo pot.
Geaux Tigers!
My call: LSU Tigers 28, Auburn Tigers 22.