Well, hello, darlings, and welcome to the party. Bianca Thornberry here, the Louisville Fanatic, Derby-party hostess, keeper of the sweet tea pitcher, and a woman who knows tempo stats as well as she knows millinery. I follow the Cardinals to every game from the stands, and I rate every game by its hat-worthiness. A one-hat game is a nice afternoon. A five-hat game requires a fascinator, a sun hat and a backup hat for the backup hat.
So pour yourself a sweet tea, and let me tell you about our trip to Syracuse.
Part 1: Last Week, a Two-Hat Win in the Dome
Louisville beat Syracuse 34-26 on Saturday. We're 4-3 and 3-2 in the ACC, and we've won two straight.
Now, the first half was a full-on Derby day. Per the AP, the two teams combined for 669 yards before halftime, the most in the ACC since 2022. Syracuse led 10-0 early, but Keyjuan Brown scored from 5 yards out, and then Lincoln Kienholz ran a quarterback counter 82 yards for a touchdown to give us a 14-10 lead late in the first quarter. Eighty-two yards, darlings. That man ran like he had a garland of roses waiting at the finish.
Syracuse kept answering. Kienholz plowed in from a yard out to put us up 21-16, and Syracuse scored again to lead 23-21. Then, with 28 seconds left in the half, Kienholz hit Isaac Brown for a 46-yard touchdown, and we led 28-23 at the break. Louisville gained 367 yards in the first half alone. Hat-worthiness rating: four hats and a boutonniere.
The second half was a different party. We gained just 58 yards after halftime, and Coach Jeff Brohm called it a tale of two halves. But our defense saved the evening. The Cardinals intercepted Syracuse's quarterback twice in the second half and forced a fumble. Syracuse kicked a field goal to make it 28-26 early in the fourth quarter. Then Cameron White intercepted a pass, and Keyjuan Brown scored from 5 yards out with 7:34 left. 34-26. Hold your hats.
Kienholz completed 14 of 26 passes for 310 yards and a touchdown, with two interceptions, and ran for 53 yards and two scores. Per the AP, his 10 rushing touchdowns this season are second only to Florida State quarterback Ashton Daniels. Lawayne McCoy caught five passes for 93 yards. Keyjuan Brown ran for two touchdowns. And Isaac Brown, who ran for 235 yards the week before against Florida State, was held to 22 yards, but he still found a way to score on that 46-yard catch. That's a man who changes hats mid-party.
And here's a stat I adore. Per the AP, Louisville has scored at least 28 points in every game this season. Every single one. That's consistent hosting, darlings. In my world, that's like serving the same perfect sweet tea at every party for seven straight weeks. Guests notice, and they come back.
The Honest Seating Chart
Every good hostess knows where the trouble sits. Our three losses came by a combined nine points: 41-38 to Ole Miss in Nashville, 30-27 at home to Wake Forest and 31-28 at NC State. Three points, three points, three points. Darlings, we're one hat pin away from 7-0. That's maddening, but it's also encouraging.
And our defense gave up a lot of easy plays in the first half against Syracuse. Coach Brohm said as much afterward. So we've got some tidying up before guests arrive.
Part 2: The Bye, Then Stanford
Louisville doesn't play this Saturday, Oct. 24. It's our open date. The party planners are taking a week off. Rest those legs, ice those shoulders and press those suits.
Then, on Saturday, Oct. 31, Stanford visits L&N Federal Credit Union Stadium. Kickoff time and TV are still to be announced. It's Halloween, darlings, so I'm planning a costume hat.
The Guest List: Stanford
I'll be gracious, because that's the Louisville way. Stanford's running back, Micah Ford, just ran for four touchdowns against Elon, tying the school's single-game record. And I must be honest: the last time we played Stanford, in 2024, Stanford beat us 38-35 in California. We remember. We've got the RSVP.
Now, the rest of the guest list. Stanford is 3-4, and that win over Elon came against an FCS team. It lost 45-6 at home to Miami, 35-7 at Duke, 57-3 at Wake Forest and 58-7 at Notre Dame. Its defense allows 452 yards a game, 134th in FBS, and 36.6 points a game, 133rd. And its red zone defense ranks 136th, allowing opponents to score on 96.4% of trips. Darlings, that's not a defense. That's a garden party with no guest list. Everybody walks right in.
Stanford also has to play NC State on Friday, while we rest. So we'll have two weeks to prepare, and they'll have a short week coming off a game.
Party Prep
1. Keep the scoring streak alive. We've scored at least 28 points every game. Against Stanford's defense, that streak shouldn't be in danger. 2. Fix the second half. We gained 58 yards after halftime in Syracuse. Two weeks of rest should help us finish the party with energy. 3. Contain Ford. He's their best guest. Tackle well, and don't let him break one.
Louisville vs. the Farm
Louisville. Louisville was founded in 1778 by George Rogers Clark and named after King Louis XVI of France, making it one of the oldest cities west of the Appalachians. It grew up as a portage site around the Falls of the Ohio, the only major obstruction to river traffic between the upper Ohio and the Gulf of Mexico. We're home to the Kentucky Derby, first run in 1875 and known as "The Most Exciting Two Minutes in Sports." We're also home to Muhammad Ali, Kentucky Fried Chicken and the Louisville Slugger. Darlings, we've got the fastest horses, the best fried chicken and the most famous bat in America. What more could a girl want?
Stanford. Now, here's a fun fact. Stanford and Louisville are both "Cardinals." But Stanford's team name refers to the color, not the bird, and the university doesn't have an official mascot. The unofficial one is the Stanford Tree, a sequoia that belongs to the marching band and regularly shows up on internet "worst mascot" lists. Darlings, we're the Cardinals with an actual bird. They're the Cardinal with an actual tree.
And Stanford, California, isn't technically a city. It's an unincorporated census-designated place of 21,150 people, mostly living in campus housing. Louisville's consolidated population was 782,969 at the 2020 census. I've hosted Derby parties with more guests than Stanford has neighbors. All right, not quite, but you see my point.
The Last Toast
Here's the honest wrap-up. Louisville has a quarterback who can beat you with his arm or his legs, a 28-point scoring streak and three losses by a combined nine points. Stanford has a talented running back and a defense ranked near the bottom of FBS. We get a bye to rest, and they play on a short week. If we finish games better and keep Ford in check, Halloween at the L&N will be a treat, not a trick. Until then, enjoy the off week, Cardinals fans. Rest up, rewatch the highlights, and save your voices for a Halloween night that I expect to remember for a long time.
Hold your hats.