Pull up a chair on the porch. Not that one, the one with the cushion. There's coffee in the pot and the corn's mostly in, so we have time.
I'm Orrin Kalvelage. I grew up on a farm outside Iowa City, I haven't missed a home opener since I was old enough to sit still, and I own exactly one black-and-gold sweater. My wife says I should buy a second one. I say a man who changes sweaters is a man who's asking for trouble.
Now, some folks come to football for the touchdowns. I come for the defense, the field position, and the punts. A good punt is a love letter to your defense, and Iowa writes a lot of mail.
Part 1: Friday Night in Seattle
Our last game was a Friday night, Oct. 9, at Husky Stadium. Iowa 41, Washington 24. We had last week off, which gave me time to rewatch it twice and write the defense a thank-you card.
Let me tell you what our defense did, because I've been telling everybody at church and they've started sitting farther away. Washington ran the ball 25 times and finished with minus-3 yards rushing. Minus three. You could lose more yards than that walking backward to the mailbox. The Huskies punted on each of their first five drives and gained 14 yards on their first 18 plays. Our boys had six sacks and nine tackles for loss. Cam Buffington had two sacks and Preston Ries had two more.
Now, the offense. Kamari Moulton ran for a career-high 208 yards on 26 carries, including a 56-yard touchdown run in the first quarter. That came one week after Ohio State held him to 27 yards, and the AP said he played like a young man with a chip on his shoulder. Jeremy Hecklinski, starting in place of the injured Hank Brown, completed 14 of 19 passes for 202 yards and three touchdowns. He threw two to tight end DJ Vonnahme, from 20 and 24 yards, and one to Reece Vander Zee from eight. Caden Buhr kicked field goals of 51 and 27 yards, and we led 27-0 before Washington scored.
And Boston Everitt punted four times for a 42-yard average, with three of them inside the 20. Three love letters, folks. Washington got each one in the mail.
It was Iowa's first win in the Pacific Time Zone since the 2019 Holiday Bowl, according to the AP. I stayed up late for it. My cows did not appreciate it the next morning.
The Season So Far
We're 5-1, 2-1 in the Big Ten, and No. 15 in the AP poll. We beat Northern Illinois 40-0, Iowa State 16-13, and Northern Iowa 55-0. We won 20-19 at Michigan. Then Ohio State came to Kinnick and beat us, 31-14. I won't sugarcoat it. The Buckeyes were better that day, and we'll learn from it.
Our defense allows 14.5 points per game, eighth in the country, and 84.7 rushing yards a game, seventh, according to the AP. That's the kind of number I'd frame and hang next to the barn door.
Part 2: Up North for Floyd
Saturday, Oct. 24, at 3:30 p.m. Eastern, we visit Minnesota at Huntington Bank Stadium. FS1 has it. And the winner takes home Floyd of Rosedale, the 98-pound bronze pig.
Let me be neighborly first. Minnesota is 4-2 and 2-1 in the Big Ten, and coach P.J. Fleck's team won at Washington, 27-24, and beat Michigan, 20-14, in Minneapolis. The Gophers' pass defense ranks ninth in FBS, allowing 159.7 yards a game, and opponents convert only 30.9% of third downs against them. Quarterback Drake Lindsey has thrown for 1,335 yards and nine touchdowns. TJ Bush Jr. has four sacks. Maverick Baranowski has 45 tackles. Those are real players, and I respect them.
Now, the less neighborly part. Minnesota's last game was at Purdue on Oct. 10, and it went the way a hailstorm goes for a soybean field. Purdue 41, Minnesota 13. The Gophers ran 13 times for 27 yards. They were down 20-3 at the half. And the Boilermakers' leading rusher, Fame Ijeboi, who ran for 195 yards and three touchdowns, used to play for Minnesota. Their rushing offense ranks 129th in FBS, the AP says, at 104.8 yards a game.
So here's the matchup I'll be watching from my chair: a running game that's struggled against a run defense ranked seventh in the nation. I'll bring the good coffee.
One honest note: Hank Brown has led us in passing this year with 832 yards, five touchdowns, and one interception, and he missed the Washington game with an injury. Whoever's under center, I trust the boys up front, and I trust our punter even more.
Who to Watch
Kamari Moulton, running back: 519 yards and four touchdowns on 76 carries, and 208 of those came in Seattle.
Jeremy Hecklinski and Hank Brown, quarterbacks: Hecklinski threw three touchdowns in his start. Brown has the season numbers.
Tony Diaz, receiver: our leader with 28 catches for 329 yards.
Cam Buffington, linebacker: 52 tackles, plus two sacks in Seattle.
Boston Everitt, punter: three punts inside the 20 last time out. Hand-addressed.
Drake Lindsey, Minnesota quarterback: 248 passing yards at Purdue. He can throw it.
Javon Tracy, Minnesota receiver: 32 catches for 375 yards.
Floyd's Family Tree
Minnesota officially leads the series 63-54-2. But we've won nine of the last 10, including 41-3 at Kinnick last year and 31-14 in Minneapolis in 2024, and Floyd has lived in Iowa City since that 2024 game, according to CollegeFootballDigest. He likes it there. We feed him well.
Floyd's been up for grabs since 1935. The original Floyd was a real prize pig from Rosedale Farms near Fort Dodge, Iowa, and he was named for Minnesota's governor, Floyd Olson, according to Wikipedia. His brother, Blue Boy, was in the Will Rogers movie "State Fair." A St. Paul sculptor named Charles Brioschi made the bronze version. So a Minnesota man made the trophy, and Iowa keeps polishing it. I call that teamwork.
The Porch Report: Two Towns
Iowa City. A town of 74,828, according to the 2020 census, and in 2008 UNESCO named it the world's third City of Literature. It's home to the Iowa Writers' Workshop, whose graduates include Flannery O'Connor and John Irving. So we can write you a love letter and a punt.
And then there's the Wave. The University of Iowa's children's hospital overlooks Kinnick Stadium, and after the first quarter of every home game, the whole stadium turns around and wave to the kids and families watching from the windows. I've done it more than I can count, and I get misty every single time. My wife hands me a handkerchief before the quarter ends now. She knows.
Minneapolis. Minneapolis is a fine city of 429,954 that calls itself the City of Lakes, with 13 lakes and a stretch of the Mississippi River. It was once the flour-milling capital of the world. I respect a town that knows its grain.
But I do have to mention the skyways. Minneapolis has 9.5 miles of enclosed pedestrian bridges connecting 80 downtown blocks, so folks can get around without stepping outside, according to Wikipedia. Folks, back home we have something similar. It's called a barn. The difference is, we still go outside to get to it.
And a Gophers fan will tell you how tough they are about the cold. I believe it. But for a town that built nine miles of hallways to avoid the weather, Saturday's forecast had better behave itself.
Closing
Here's what I know. We've got a defense that just held a Big Ten team to minus-3 rushing yards. We've got a running back coming off 208 yards. We've got a punter who writes letters. Minnesota has a solid pass defense, a home crowd, and a running game that managed 27 yards in its last game.
Bring Floyd home. Wave to the kids. Go Hawks.
My call: Iowa Hawkeyes 28, Minnesota Golden Gophers 18.