Gus Ponder here, coming to you from the garage, where the whiteboard is full of arrows, the coffee is lukewarm and the punt chart is up to date. If you're new, here's the deal. I tell one dad joke for every Ball State punt. Saturday in Bowling Green, Cole Stumbaugh punted four times. So you get four jokes, plus a bonus, because I'm in a good mood. Why? Because the Cardinals won on the road. Hold on to your whiteboards.
Part 1: Two Points, One Overtime, Zero Sleep
Ball State beat Bowling Green 32-31 in overtime on Saturday at Doyt L. Perry Stadium, and AP says it was the Cardinals' first road win in nearly two years, a span of 14 games. We're 2-5, 1-2 in the MAC. I'm hoarse. My whiteboard is hoarse.
We led most of the day. Brody Boehm hit a 39-yard field goal in the first quarter. TJ Horton ran in from 8 yards out. Keldric Luster took off for a 28-yard touchdown run in the third quarter, and it was 17-10.
Then the fourth quarter got bananas. Bowling Green tied it with 1:12 left on a 6-yard touchdown pass from Jay Kastantin. On the very next play, Luster scrambled for 10 yards, the ball got knocked loose, and D'kyah Banks returned it 35 yards for a touchdown. Bowling Green led 24-17 with 1:01 left.
Here's where it gets good. Per AP, Luster led a seven-play, 78-yard drive. The ball was snapped with five seconds left, Bowling Green had six defensive backs lined up at the goal, and Luster found Eli Hohlt wide open on the right side of the end zone. 24-24. Overtime.
Bowling Green scored first in overtime on Austyn Dendy's 4-yard run. Horton answered from 1 yard out. And then the Cardinals went for two. Luster found Alex Scherle. Ball State 32, Bowling Green 31. I yelled so loud my neighbor's dog started a podcast.
Luster threw for 195 yards and a touchdown and ran for 125 yards and another one. Horton had two touchdowns. CJ Nelson caught six passes for 59 yards. Will Yates intercepted Kastantin, and Gavin Forsha made eight tackles. Ball State ran for 240 yards and went 2-for-2 on fourth down.
Now, the punt chart. Stumbaugh punted four times for a 41.0 average, with a long of 56. Four punts, four jokes.
Punt one: Why did the football coach go to the bank? To get his quarterback.
Punt two: I asked the punter how he stays so calm. He said he just kicks back.
Punt three: What do you call a cardinal that wins on the road? A redbird with a passport.
Punt four: Why are football stadiums so cool? Because every seat has a fan in it.
Bonus: Why was the two-point conversion so happy? Because it finally got the point. Both of them.
Part 2: Sac State Comes to Muncie
Saturday, 3:30 p.m. Eastern, ESPN+, Sacramento State visits Scheumann Stadium.
Let me be a good host. The Hornets are new to all of this. Sac State joined the MAC as a football-only member on July 1, according to Sac State Athletics, and this is its first FBS season. The school says it brought back only six starters and added 73 new players. And before this, Sac State won Big Sky titles in 2019, 2021 and 2022. So I respect the Hornets. They know how to win.
They just haven't done it much yet up here. Sac State is 1-6 and 0-4 in the MAC, and AP says the Hornets have lost five in a row. Ohio beat them 48-7 on Saturday night in Sacramento. Ohio had 30 first downs and ran for 265 yards. The Hornets were flagged 12 times for 130 yards. ESPN's season numbers say Sac State scores 15.0 points a game and allows 176.1 rushing yards. They lost 35-6 at home to UMass. Their only win came against Mississippi Valley State.
And you know my go-to stat this week? Sac State's defense allows 176.1 rushing yards a game. Ball State just ran for 240. Luster ran for 125. Horton has 392 rushing yards and seven touchdowns this season. If I were drawing it on the whiteboard, I'd just draw a big arrow pointing straight ahead and write "run" next to it.
Now, the honest part, because a punt chart never lies. Our defense allows 37.9 points and 201.6 rushing yards a game, per ESPN. Matt Coleman has 473 receiving yards and four touchdowns for Sac State, and Isaiah Ene averaged 8.4 yards a carry last week. We can't take anybody lightly. We're 2-5. Nobody in this game gets to strut. But I'll say this for the Cardinals: we just learned how to finish. Down a touchdown with 1:01 left on the road, this team didn't fold. It drove 78 yards, scored with no time on the clock and then went for the win in overtime instead of settling. That's the kind of thing that changes a locker room. I'm just a guy with a whiteboard, but I know what a turning point looks like on paper.
But here's the matchup, the way I see it. A Cardinal is a bird. A Hornet is a bug. I'm not a scientist, but I've watched a lot of nature shows from this garage, and I know how that one usually ends.
Tales From Two Towns
Muncie. Muncie is a city of 65,195 on the White River, and it has a story. Wikipedia says the Ball brothers built their glass factory here in 1888, and they bought the old school property and donated it to the state, and that became the forerunner of Ball State in 1918. That's the Ball in Ball State, the same Ball family name you've seen on canning jars. Ball State's David Owsley Museum of Art has more than 11,000 works. The campus has the David Letterman Communication and Media Building. And Jim Davis, the man who created Garfield, studied art and business at Ball State, per Wikipedia. So yes, the world's most famous lasagna-loving cat has Muncie roots. Garfield hates Mondays. We love Saturdays.
Muncie was also the real town behind "Middletown," the famous 1929 study of everyday American life. Some people say that means average. I say that means the researchers came to Muncie and stayed for two books.
Sacramento. Sacramento is the capital of California and a big city of 524,943. It's lovely. But according to Wikipedia, its streets are laid out as a grid of 26 lettered streets and 31 numbered ones. I'd get lost on C Street trying to find 16th. It's not a city, it's a spelling test. And during the Great Flood of 1862, Wikipedia says the new governor, Leland Stanford, traveled to his own inauguration in a rowboat. In Muncie, our governors show up by car.
Here's my last dad joke, for free. Why did the Hornet fly all the way to Muncie? Because it heard the Cardinals were serving canned food.
Garage Whiteboard
1. Run the ball. Then run it again. 2. Clean tackling. Sac State's backs had some long runs on Saturday. 3. Keep Stumbaugh rested. Fewer punts, fewer jokes. I'll make that sacrifice.
My call: Ball State Cardinals 32, Sacramento State Hornets 22.